The World As I See It

October 3, 2008

Senate Approves Bailout Thanks To Wooden Arrows

Filed under: bailout,humor,news,senate — scarlatti21 @ 10:00 am
Tags: , , , ,
  1. SENATE APPROVES BAILOUT THANKS TO WOODEN ARROWS

 

The senate, on Wednesday, passed the $700 billion bailout package that had failed miserably in congress earlier in the week. Many place the victory soly in the hands of Oregon senators Ron Wyden and Gordon Smith. These two had the brilliant idea of attaching a repeal of a 39 cent excise tax on wooden arrows made for children. Senator Wyden wanted to make it clear that this repeal would only affect arrows made for children saying, “Wooden arrows made for adults would still be taxed like a son of a bitch!”.  He went on to say that fiberglass arrows would also remained taxed mainly because he wasn’t good friends with the guy who makes those.

 

This attachment got rave reviews from the State’s only wooden arrow maker (for children mind you), Zeke Maynard who said “YeeHaa!” as he danced around and shot wooden arrows into the air injuring 7 bystands, 5 of whom were children. Maynard said this was a victory for wooden arrow (for children mind you) makers everywhere.

Many in congress said this attachment comes as no surprise as Wyden and Smith have long been known for their talent at writing attachments to bills which are otherwise intelligent. Senator Danial Akaka(D-HI) said, “When these two put pen to paper, magic happens. This reminds me of the time they attached a bill to reduce the amount of taxes paid by makers of clown shoes. They single handedly saved that industry to the humorous delight of many.”

After the bill was passed it was back to work for Wyden and Smith as the two were feverishly working on their next bill attachment which involves tax breaks for companys that make indian head bands.

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