The World As I See It

November 3, 2015

The Barn; Dress for Success

Filed under: barn,comedy,funny,humor,satire,steak — scarlatti21 @ 9:53 pm
Tags: , , , ,

dress

Easton, MD – If you live in or around the Easton area you’ve likely heard about the dress code at the new restaurant, The Barn. Many are up in arms, calling the code racist and discriminatory. Nothing could be further from the truth. So I am here as an unofficial spokesperson for The Barn to explain the code to you and show you that it is not racist or discriminatory.

It is noted that the author has not been hired by The Barn nor is The Barn aware that he has taken it upon himself to explain their dress code.

Unacceptable (for the record. the band members wearing brimless hats were forced to play their instruments outside)

Unacceptable
(for the record. the band members wearing brimless hats were forced to play their instruments outside)

Take a load of, Hombre. Would you like to try our jalapeno poppers?

1. No brimless head wear (doo rags, bandanas, skull caps, etc.) – Let me start by saying it was a bitch just trying to figure out how to spell doo rag. It seems there is no consensus on the web. In fact, Merriam’s dictionary has it spelled “do-rag”, but what do they know, am I right? And we’ve heard the argument that the band that played here used a promo shot wearing brimless hats. We stress that the members wearing brimless hats were forced to play their instruments outside. No exceptions were made. People have also argued that this is racist, but as you can see from the examples above it is the furthest thing from racist. You can wear sombreros or those wicker hats that people wear to pick rice. See. Not racist. We would also like to point out that we hold our staff to the same standards. That is why they don’t wear hair nets in the kitchen.

Did you know that people wearing brimless hats are 71% more likely to want to “whoop some ass” than people wearing brimful hats or sans hat altogether. It’s true. We did the research. Trust us.

2. No excessively baggy clothing – This is also known as the no Mc Hammer rule. We are big fans of skinny jeans and really, really tight pants. Now, we realize that this is vague. What constitutes baggy? Where is the line drawn on when something goes from relaxed fit to baggier than all get out? Do not worry. We have a baggy pants inspector on staff who went to baggy pants inspection school and will be able to answer all of your baggy pants questions. To help in the meantime we have supplied some examples below.

tight

Perfectly acceptable

 

Unacceptable on numerous levels

Unacceptable on numerous levels

Unacceptable.

Unacceptable.

3. No underwear showing – Everyone hates underwear. Well, we are no exception. We’d rather see an ass-crack than a pair of flower undies or men’s boxers. Underwear is the cloth of the devil. So if you feel the need to dine pantless, please respect our rules and leave the underwear home as well.

 

Perfectly acceptable

Perfectly acceptable

By no means. We're not running a brothel here.

By no means. We’re not running a brothel here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Men must wear sleeves – Women, feel free to hang your arms out and let them flap in the breeze. Men, keep those nasty things to yourselves. Imagine you’re enjoying a nice meal with your family when a man comes in hanging his arms out like he hasn’t a care in the world. Worst yet, imagine this man has a baby latched onto this arm. Enough to make you lose your appetite, isn’t it? Well not at our restaurant. Men, keep those things covered!!

Come on in good sir.

Come on in good sir.

 

Slap some sleeves on, take off those undies, and join us for a juicy steak

Slap some sleeves on, take off those undies, and join us for a juicy steak

 

5. No white sleeveless undershirts – Seems like we took care of this one with the, “men must wear sleeves” one, but we really want to drive this one home. Let’s face it, white is the devil’s color. Bright colors are much more soothing and calming.

 

We'd love to make exceptions, but no matter how handsome you are, rules are rules

We’d love to make exceptions, but no matter how handsome you are, rules are rules

Looks like we have a writer! Well take a load off and have yourself a steak friend

Looks like we have a writer dining with us this evening! Well take a load off and have yourself a steak, friend

6. No plain white t-shirts – I think we speak for everyone when we say, “enough already” to The Plain White T’s. We can’t listen to , “Hey there Delilah” one more time without ripping our own arms off.

No way, no how.

No way, no how.

Someone looks hungry for a steak. Have a seat. Medium rare, am I right?

Someone looks hungry for a steak. Have a seat. Medium rare, am I right?

 

Hope this clears things up for everyone. Feel free to contact us here at The World As I See It with any questions or clarifications. And happy eating!

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4 Comments »

  1. If someone doesn’t like your rules then they can open up their own restaurant and make their own rules. Thanks for setting some standards. I’m sick of baggy pants with underwear showing. That’s so 15 minutes ago anyway.

    Comment by Mary — November 4, 2015 @ 7:02 am

  2. Thank you for your support, Mary but let’s not suggest people open their own restaurants. The last thing we want is competition.

    Comment by scarlatti21 — November 4, 2015 @ 8:51 am

  3. I like your rules all except for no hair nets on kitchen staff. Isn’t it mandatory for them to wear hair nets? Too many times we have gotten our food at restaurants and the one complaint we ever had was finding hair in our food. Yuck! Wear the hair nets.

    Comment by Daniele albanese — November 5, 2015 @ 8:51 am

  4. I don’t have a strong opinion on dressing codes but I think maybe people should try more pot luck dinners with friends or people they went to school with instead of always going to restaurants.

    Comment by Charlie S — November 5, 2015 @ 11:50 am


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