The World As I See It

October 16, 2008

McCain Closes Gap; Lands Vote of Joe the Plumber

Joe Wurzelbacher

Joe the Plumber taking in a special episode of Blossom

In the much anticipated final Presidential debate, Senator John McCain closed the gap by landing the much coveted vote of Joe Wurzelbacher aka “Joe the Plumber”. While Wurzelbacher wouldn’t comment on who he intended to vote for, many political analysts believe John McCain was the clear winner. “It looks to me like John has clearly closed the gap by 1 vote”, said analyst Peter Short, “If he can do that several million more times, Obama is in trouble”.

Obama, who had to leave the debate early because of a prior “bomb making” engagement with his radical buddies, was concerned at losing Joe’s vote, “It bothers me that my tax plan is going to hurt people like Joe. People who are able to buy businesses worth more than $250,000. This guy is one step away from being impovershed and my plan could put him over the top. That hurts. Now if you’ll excuse me I have bombs to make”.

 

As for McCain, who is part Irish and part Fox Squirrel, he said he is pleased to get Joe’s vote, but doesn’t plan on stopping there, “I’m hoping to land Terry the Electrician’s vote next, but I’ve got work to do.”

Analysts have said that whoever lands Terry’s vote has a 50/50 chance of winning the election.

 

When it came time to talk Vice Presidential candidates, no one can dispute that Palin was the clear winner. The qualifications were overwhemingly in Palin’s favor as Biden’s foreign policy record was no match for Palin’s record of having a special needs child. “Sure Joe has some solid credentials when it comes to foreign policy”, said McCain, “But has he ever raised a special needs child? No he hasn’t and running this country is like raising a special needs child”.

With the election just 3 weeks away, McCain has his work cut out for him, but if he can continue to pluck plumber and electrician votes at this rate, there’s a chance he could lose by a little less than originally thought.

The debate was moderated by CBS’ Bob Scheiffer, who was the moderator for the famed Jesus vs Judas debates in the year 27.

 All research for this article was performed by our political analyst Ronald Steadway

 retard.jpg retard picture by fisher725

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